Finally – A New (Pseudo) Unicorn for Me!

It’s been nine months since I sold the Mercedes S600, and much longer that I’ve been bemoaning the challenges of finding my next unicorn. I finally took the plunge and picked up a 2021 Mercedes GLE63s AMG. It’s a (mostly) wonderful SUV that scratches (almost) all of my automotive itches. Unfortunately, I strayed from the fold and did NOT buy it from CarMax. I gave them every opportunity to wow me with a bust-the-budget dream car and just couldn’t get what I wanted – a loaded and exclusive SUV. Even flew to Florida last spring to see a CarMax GLE580 that was listed as fully loaded, only to find it lacked some features CarMax said it had. So I’ve gone out on a limb to buy a Mercedes CPO, paid for a Mercedes’ extended warranty, purchased it long distance from a Mercedes dealer in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and had it shipped to me in Virginia. It’s been a challenging journey.

Once I entertained buying a Mercedes CPO I settled on GLE63’s and GLE580’s, 2020 and up (2021 for GLE63’s – there weren’t any in 2020). Found limited quantities of both, and the 580’s were roughly $20,000 less than their AMG brothers. The GLE580 makes 483 hp and the GLE63 603. Both have a 48v mild hybrid power augmentation. The GLE580 does 0-60 in 4,3 seconds and the GLE63 in the low-threes. Justifying the additional $20,000 came down to a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go for the higher horsepower and exclusivity of the AMG version. I’ve owned the car for almost two months now and haven’t see another on the road. If you want a professional review of this car read this Car and Driver piece. If you want to know about buying from Mercedes and my experiences, read on!

While I found limited inventory of GLE580’s and GLE63’s from 2020-2022 (my price range), even more frustrating was just how bad the Mercedes Benz CPO web site functions. It’s horrible. Far worse than CarMax. Even worse than General Motors. It’s simply not possible to choose wanted features and sort through the nationwide inventory. There are a very limited number of options to choose, and the results are unreliable. The corporate MB app forces the buyer to go to each dealer’s website to dive deeper on details. MB doesn’t even provide a link – have to cut and paste each dealer’s name and google them to find the dealership. THEN you find the car (again) and hope there’s an “iPacket” of vehicle records that will include the data card of options by description and code. There are three Mercedes dealerships near me, and only one offers iPackets online to find data cards. Otherwise, the buyer needs to reach out dealer by dealer by email or phone to ask for a data card, and tolerate obnoxious sales reps only motivated to get you to walk in the door. More than one sales rep flat out lied, or was bizarrely unaware of what features were actually available on their vehicles.

For example, I absolutely had to have a heated steering wheel. They are extremely hard to find on 2020-2021 GLE580’s. One sales rep told me the heated steering wheel was controlled by the MBUX infotainment system and that’s why I wouldn’t see the switch on the side of the steering wheel. Total bullshit. I finally found a really good guy at the Alexandria, Virginia Mercedes dealer who explained to me that the chip shortage of 2020-2022 resulted in features, such as heated steering wheels, being dropped from some models and reserved for higher end cars. He said some new vehicles even showed up during that time with only half the ambience lighting installed, and a $500 credit on the Monroney sticker! Bottom line, I trusted nothing and no one on features until I got the data card. And then I still overlooked stuff!

After months of searching I found this beautiful blue over cream 2021 Mercedes GLE63s AMG in Santa Fe with only 12,000 miles. It had all of the features I wanted, or so I thought. But it was over budget. Found another white one in a less preferred color scheme in Boerne, Texas, but it was even more expensive. And after I had mentally committed to going all in on the GLE63 over the 580….a nice 580 showed up in Tennessee for $20,000 less. But it sold. The blue GLE63 dropped a thousand, then another two thousand, during my indecision mode. During that time I asked the sales manager about pricing and he flatly refused to negotiate. “I put my best price on the internet.” Another week went by and I engaged a pretty helpful sales rep and flat out made an offer. Said I had to get the price under $100k or my wife would leave me. He checked with the manager (of course) who gave me an ultimatum – they’d accept my offer if I completed the financial part that day and wired them payment. It was as if they’d challenged my manhood or integrity and so I said done, threw caution to the wind, and wired them the whole kit and caboodle. And then waited on paperwork and wondered if I had been swindled.

Although the manager and sales rep assured me they did long distance transactions all the time, they just weren’t very good at it and certainly not timely. Paperwork FedEx’d to me had my name spelled wrong. The email from the finance guy spelled “Benz” wrong. The sales rep and the finance rep were friendly and helpful when we talked, and yet they took forever to return calls. Lots of apologies that they had live customers in front of them, implying that buyers a thousand miles away were less important. When the finance guy initially called me, after trying to sell me windshield crack insurance (I thought Ziebart protection was next) he quoted me the extended CPO warranty for $2,000 more than the sales manager had. I corrected him and he accepted my number – wish I had said it was free!

A week later the sale was complete and we turned to shipping. The dealership claimed they outsourced shipping, but it turned out to be nothing more than “we know a guy”. Jacob, from Global Auto Transportation in Los Angeles. A broker. and the dealership doesn’t arrange transport, I do. Jacob promised me he could get the vehicle booked within a few days, and it would be here in a week, for $1,200. And the normal arrangements were to pay Global $300 and then, get this, Venmo the driver the remaining $900 upon delivery. I saw nothing but extra charges and getting squeezed by the trucker on arrival if Global didn’t pay him and said no – I’d pay Global, up front even, but I wanted a cleaner contract. Jacob agreed, When the SUV was picked up in Santa Fe I texted the truckers (two Russians) and promised a decent tip if they took care of my car. They did, and after delivery I Venmo’d them a couple of hundred bucks, and got a really sweet “May God bless you” text back. They were the highlight of this purchase.

The Mercedes had New Mexico temporary plates good for 30 days, and I needed them. It took the Santa Fe dealer all that time to get me a title and the originals of the purchase documents. And the purchase order was incorrect and rejected when I went to the Virginia DMV. Fortunately, the finance guy at the dealership took my call immediately and within minutes faxed corrected documents to the DMV and just last week, I became legal. I held off writing this piece all this time wondering if it would work out, or if I’d have to drive the car back to Santa Fe and dump it back on them. But it worked out. Just took almost two months to get here.

The SUV is pretty spectacular. I try to overlook design shortcomings like the cupholders above. The cupholders will EITHER heat OR cool your drinks, but what if you have coffee and water – can’t do one of each? Unacceptable 🙂 I misunderstood the Smart Phone Integration package – it has wireless phone charging, and full Apple CarPlay and other integrated features…..but the phone has to be tethered with a USB cord. Was joking about the cupholders, but I really wanted wireless CarPlay. I missed that. I’ve since bought a puck, wired into the port and hidden in the glovebox, but running two Bluetooth connections (MBUX and the aftermarket) is clunky and drops calls. Will probably just run with a wired phone. Disappointing.

The massaging seats are wonderful, and well supporting on my 600 mile road trip. The aromatherapy (below), like the heated/cooling cupholders, is a bit of a novelty. The atomizer was missing when the car arrived so I dropped $100 on Amazon for a genuine “Mercedes Benz Genuine Flacon Perfume Atomizer”. It goes in a special mount in the glove box. Passed on Sport fragrance (was thinking locker room?) and went for “Freeside Mood”. Amazon said it’s “citrus and tea with floral top notes. Base notes include cedar- patchouli and ambergris.” I don’t know what that it, but I do know the first time my wife rode in the car she said something like “Good God, what’s that smell?”. Fortunately, it’s easy to turn off.

While we’re at it, the Mercedes also has the heated armrests – the center console and the door rest. I’m sure they will be critical come winter. It does have the heads up display I dig, although no night vision assist. The Driver Assistance Plus package (hands free driving, including auto lane change and stop and go assist in traffic jams), has been worth it. The 603 hp 4.0 liter V-8 is an absolute brawler……if you want it to be. Peculiarly, I’ve been driving it mostly in reduced power mode because I don’t need that horsepower all the time (or at all?!) and I might as well save on gas. And after 2,000 miles of driving, with only one 600 mile road trip, I’m averaging 19 mpg. That’s what I get in my 2013 BMW M3. And that’s why I sometimes wonder if I would have been just as happy with the “cheaper” GLE580? I’m usually driving the GLE63 the same way. Sort of how my BMW M3 is fine around town in normal mode, and yet hit the “M” button and it’s a race car.

Finally, let’s look at the warranty. The reason for this blog is because I’m a MaxCare addict. I like the financial protection of near bumper-to-bumper coverage on high-end cars and wouldn’t own one without it. Every time I looked at CPO’s, though, I found the coverage was only one year or so beyond the manufacturer warranty. CarMax sells five years from the purchase date from CarMax – not linked to the original sale date. That’s the differentiator. But I found the Mercedes CPO warranty is one year beyond the manufacturer warranty for free, and an additional two years could be purchased with an extended CPO warranty. My SUV is a 2021, and the manufacturer warranty is four years, through 2025. The CPO warranty adds a year, to 2026, and the additional two years I bought, for $5,960, will take me to 2028. That’s five years and unlimited mileage! I plan to drive the wheels off, and not worry about managing mileage. I am waiting for an opportunity to take the car in to Mercedes and see if this is as easy as it has been with my trusted rep Ryan at CarMax.

That’s my story. The car sold new for maybe $130,000 with all these options and carbon fiber trim and I got it for under $100,000 – not the unicorn deal I’ve grown accustomed to, and yet just this once it’s the right thing to do for me. I know it will be worth a third that when I’m done. When I replace the M3, I will no doubt be looking for a bargain at CarMax!

I’ll get back to blogging about CarMax cars now. And enjoying the best, or nothing.